Exercising has always been difficult for me. Why force myself to be uncomfortable and sore? Well - now that I am motivated, and I know why! If I don't start being sore, I will never get to where I want to be. My immediate goal is one mile a day. Just one mile. It takes me a little less than twenty minutes to complete one mile. (Yes, that is me pushing it!) I know I am slow, but at least I am moving.
I began the month of June off right with a mile first thing this morning. These hideous and embarrassing photos are from after my mile this morning. I hate looking in the mirror, but I know if I don't start looking in the mirror and forcing myself to see what I've become - I will never change.
Here is to NOT looking like this in July or ever again!
I have always been overweight. I don't know how it started, where it began, why I didn't stop sooner, how I became this large - I just know I've always been overweight. It has always been a battle, but a battle on the back burner. My weight has never stopped me from doing anything I wanted to do - of course I could never run or play sports or go hiking without a lot of difficulty, but I never let myself head towards those things. Other, slower, activities filled my time.
I have never hated myself. Being that I like who I am, I pushed my weight to the side. "If I like who I am, why should what I look like matter?" School, friends, family, and jobs were always placed I could be successful. Clothes, sports, and stairs gave me trouble. At sixteen I became a mom. Sixteen and pregnant isn't as glamorous as it looks on TV. With family support, I had my son, graduated high school, graduated college, and became a teacher. During my pregnancy, I gained 70+ pounds (yes, in addition to the baby).
Between being a mom, student, employee, daughter, ETC, I never had time to focus on fitness or eating healthy. After having my son, I knew I wanted to lose the weight. I want to bit fit, so I can run and play with him - so I can keep up - so I can set a good, healthy example. Each week of college always started with the "Let's Do This" attitude, up at 4am to workout with Fitness TV, taking stairs at classes, packing a good lunch - yatta yatta yatta. As the week progressed, I did not stay motivated. Excuses. Excuses have always been my downfall. I have homework. I have a test. I need to prepare. I need to cook. I need to clean. I need to play with Wyatt (which is always, ALWAYS important). I need to help someone with something. So I never reached any goals. I continued to back slide. 200 pounds in high school. 250 by the end of college. I moved out after college and bought junk food. No one to watch me as I splurged on ice cream. No one to motivate me to workout. Bad relationships that fostered more bad eating. By my second year of teaching, I was 330 pounds.
Now - yes, there are a lot of holes in the above story, but it sums it up - I'm fat, extremely obese at 5'6" and a busy lifestyle with no motivation has gotten me here. Today. Day One.
Day One - I call this day one because it IS and WILL BE the first day of the rest of my life. I am financially secure (not as much as I want, but enough), I have a career, my son is eight years old, and it's summer (I'm a teacher, so this means FREEDOM). I am tired of breathing heaving with half a flight of stairs. I am tired of not being able to practice soccer with my son. I am tired of tight clothes. I am tired of expensive clothes because it requires a circus tent amount of fabric to fit.
This blog, even if it never gets read, is my way to LOSE THE EXCUSES. There is no reason I can't take twenty minutes a day to do a mile. There is no reason I can't take time to plan healthy meals. I am going to LOSE THE EXCUSES and this blog will help keep me on track. It will also serve as a reminder that I can do whatever I put my mind to do.
Highest Weight: 330
Start Weight: 327
Goal Weight: 150
Height: 5'6"
